Monday, September 26, 2005


JUST ANOTHER DAY IN TEENY TINY TINSETOWN
ALL IS FAIR IN LIFE, LOVE & WAR!

Life seems to be hitting our poor little Milo in the puffy end of his designer "Onesie" mommy Liv has set her goals on acting once again and poor Milo now finds himself swinging to a solo tune. First walking and now this. I’ve tried explaining how these "grown up" issues work, but our resident barefoot flower child has continued to drift toward the "time out" corner of depression. He does perk up at playtime. It’s amazing what a good swing will do for a tiny tyke. I also noticed his dislike of the custom "Baby Bjorn" his mother likes to squeeze him into. Poor kid resembles a an overstuffed sausage. This might explain his constant attempts at pulling his legs free while mom is in mid stride. He did manage to liberate one leg and had almost made it to the promise land (mommy’s shoulder) before she caught him. I’m really going to have to extol the virtues of strollers and their uses to young Liv.

Sweet Peaches…darn it! Sweet Apple now finds herself in a love triangle with Maddox and Baby budding beauty Leni Briatore. ( The kid’s definitely a Klum in looks). Poor Banana…er Apple, in love with our "resident rebel" and her competition is none other than a supermodel’s kid. After catching Leni deliberately gumming the cloth nose of..Apple’s (Yes!) favorite stuffed bunny, I alerted the staff to possible "kitten fights" between the two. Although, with the arrival of Leni’s new baby brother I’m not so sure how much effort she will be able to muster in this battle of heart. The funny thing is young Maddox hasn’t so much as glanced at either girl. Instead he seems to have set his sights on an older woman and has been secretly trailing around behind young Willow Smith. Rumer even spotted him rubbing his face over her favorite sweater. The boy’s just not right. I’m beginning to sense some stalking tendencies. During our last Parent teacher night I mentioned this behavior to both sets of parents, Will and Jada and Angelina and Brad. Impressively they all seem to think that it will blow over...yeah…I’m not sure.

I must say that these Jolie-Pitt tykes are truly interesting to watch when they’re in town. Lately they have been spending every other weekend with daddy in Canada. Now they are off to Dubai for a week long vacation. (I’m so glad Angie and Brad are paid up through the year.) These kids’ passports look better than mine. Before she left little Zahara decided to take up the cause of her mummy and daddy-to-be. She persuaded her playmates to donate their favorite toys to the less fortunate…only I don’t think that they truly understand because instead of giving their toys, they gave the Preschool’s. But you must applaud Baby Z’s effort. She’s also become quite the little celebrity. Her diary blog has become as popular as her brother’s. Though as the daughter of two A-list celebs, I must caution her about publicizing her personal relationships. Perhaps she should take a page from her mummy and daddy’s book. "They may ask, but you don’t tell." That is until the ink is dry on the divorce papers and Barbara Walters is team "Brangelina".

Our territorial war is still in full swing. Hazel has now enlisted the help of Romeo Beckham who along with his brothers Brooklyn (Who’s quite a little character) and Cruz (what a little sweetheart) has joined our elite little Preschool. Romeo (oh how his name suits him) has no time for such infantile dreams and desires. He has signed on as ‘guard du corps’ for the infant queen only. But from the crafty way Hazel extends her teething biscuit, I’d say young Romeo is in for a surprise awakening. She wants her man and I don’t know…she may get him.

Oh! For…ugghhh another email request from the Federlines. I told Britney that I’d try to find an opening in our newborn department for baby boy Federline but alas I’ve yet to find an available suite to house his overly large mother’s ego along with his other baby paraphernalia.
Some just don’t take the choice of breeding seriously.

Signing off

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